Moving Anger Toward Inner Peace
Achieving inner peace requires honesty. Being honest about who you are, and the negative (very human) emotions we carry, especially anger. Inner Peace cannot be achieved by denying or suppressing anger. This does not mean you should lash out at people; but, going to a “safe” place where you beat pillows to “vent out” anger is not going to make it go away either. Anger is telling you that you need to act on something; and, most likely, this requires some form of change. The only way to resolve anger is to confront it in a strategic, yet compassionate manner.
Acknowledging your anger is the first step of achieving inner peace…
The next step is to dismiss inner talk that says your anger is bad. Be compassionate with yourself when anger arises. If you focus your contemplation on the fact that anger is bad, then you will not be able to effectively work through a problem with others. This negative self-talk generates feelings of guilt. Guilt generates more anger and continues to cycle until it leads you into full blown depression. Externally, guilt can show up in body language and subtlety in conversations. If you internally discount or minimize your own anger, the other person will too.
When you recognize that you are ready to become unstuck in the negative state of anger, you will be able move into a space of exploring and examining the anger at a deeper level. Questions to ask are “What truly brought this on in the first place? How does this impact not only my need to survive, but my desire to move forward in life? Has this situation or scenario happened before? Is there a historical pattern with this person? Is there a historical pattern with other people causing the same situation to arise? Does it lead to a root cause of the problem within myself? Am I willing and able to actively listen to the other person and negotiate a solution? Is the other person able to negotiate a solution? If not, then the questions becomes is it healthy for me to remain in close proximity with this person?
Once you gain deeper awareness of why anger has arisen, you can begin to constructively formulate a way to express your concerns with the parties involved. In a compassionate voice, openly acknowledge your anger and convey how your needs have been impacted. Be authentic. Try to find normal, matter of fact ways to say “I feel…because you…” this statement tends to evoke defensiveness if stated with a textbook therapeutic tone. Be clear on what you need from the other person. Listen to them and acknowledge what they are saying back.
By remembering to be compassionate with yourself as well as with the other(s); and, recognizing that anger is calling for change, this process will invite an opportunity for growth that will ultimately lead you closer towards a state inner peace and outer harmony.
Wishing you Inner Peace, Bliss and Good Health~Sara Burns